FAQ

Is narrative grief counseling all about writing?

No. It’s about characterizing loss, restructuring meaning, bridging void, and re-authoring our experience. We do this by tending to our narrative. It can involve writing, sure. But oftentimes, it’s nothing more than you, the client, responding (verbally) to exploratory prompts from me, the psychologist. My experience is, though, that even the most stoic individual excels with the written exercises, simply due to the nature of the modality.

You really take only a few clients per week? Why?

Yes. I do this because I want to help my clients heal as quickly and thoroughly as possible. And this takes attentiveness and space. It necessitates that I stay fresh and inspired. If I carried, say, 25-35 clients a week—like your typical online site specializing in assembly line “therapy”—my healing skills, compassion, and enthusiasm would become diluted (How can they not?), resulting in a less effective experience for each client, including you.

Do you really fire clients?

Sometimes, yes. If you aren’t willing to do the work, I have no interest in booking you.

Why do you charge $250 or more per session?

You can buy a Casio…or you can purchase a Movado…or you can invest in a Patek Philippe.

Do you take insurance?

No.

Do you really make house calls?

Yes. In certain KC neighborhoods. On certain days. For a certain fee.

Do you work with children?

I work with kids 15 years years of age and older.

Do you work with stillborn, miscarriage, or abortion grief?

No, I do not. My techniques are not best applied to such grief.

Do you work with divorce grief?

No. I only work with death-grief.

Do you work with job loss grief?

No. I only work with death-grief.

Do you work with personal injury grief?

No. I only work with death-grief.

Do you work with home loss grief?

No. I only work with death-grief.

Do you work with bankruptcy grief?

No. I only work with death-grief.

Why is your approach so powerful?

One, I belong to a school of psychology that doesn’t subscribe to the tired, and largely failing, traditional grief model of adjustment “stages.” This rebellion supercharges my work.

Two, you will never hear me say phrases such as, “That’s an irrational thought,” or “You’re thinking negatively again.” Cognitive Behavioral Theory (CBT) does not work for grief. Instead, you’ll sit with me in a non-blaming, respectful, client-centric space, where I simply provide adept prompts for deep exploration. It’s here you’ll feel the magic of your own ability to heal. There’s never a right or wrong. There’s never a good or bad. There’s never a “should” or “must.” When you sit with me, you sit without expectation, without attachment to outcome, without dictation.

And finally, my toolkit includes a unique mix of narrative & expressive arts techniques—which were seemingly custom-made for grief itself—that allow for quick and thorough healing. This multi-layered healing is done by way of restructuring meaning, characterizing loss, bridging void, externalizing emotion, and essentially re-storying your entire narrative around “the loss.”

Why is your specialty death-grief? Sounds kind of morbid?

On the contrary. Plain and simple, grief is love. And love is our reason for being. In fact, everything else can be explained away as part of the pointless “born to die” journey…except love. And as a die-hard romantic, I see the beauty in all grief—the power, the purpose, the passion, the poetry.

Why pet loss grief?

One, I’m a lifelong animal lover. And two, because pet loss grief can hurt just as much, or sometimes more, than losing a human loved….and that causes issues with mental wellness…and I’m a mental health professional…and…well…you get the idea.

Why sudden death-grief?

Because grief after sudden death is acute and hyper-intense, and people just like you need guidance through it, before it does permanent damage and causes you long-term issues.

Why disenfranchised grief?

Who else is going to listen to you? Society, as a whole, has shunned you, and it’s probably made you feel shame for your “taboo” grief. As I’ve said elsewhere, love is love, and there’s beauty hidden in all grief. I simply want to help you unlock that beauty—to not only be heard but to find real solutions!

Why prolonged grief?

You have to heal at some point, right? Your quality of life will just continue to deteriorate if you don’t—it’ll continue on its downward trajectory. And no one else has helped you heal thus far, correct? Well, I have the toolkit to help you.

What’s your experience with death-grief?

Well, I’ve lost a father, several cousins, five aunts, seven uncles, all my grandparents, a close friend, a lover, and a mentor.

I’ve lost these people to anticipatory death, sudden death (accident, aneurysm, and murder), and via disenfranchised means (suicide).

I’ve also lost several companion animals in my lifetime (disenfranchised grief), including three of my own, and my current pups, Izzy and Moose, are now 15 and 16, respectively, so…

It should be noted, as well, that from November 2006 to May 2011—after losing two close loved ones to sudden deaths just 87 days apart—I endured a vicious cycle of prolonged grief…

Which, literally, almost killed me.

Simply put: I’ve paid a visit to almost every stop along the grief & mourning thoroughfare.

What are your best traits as a therapist?

From what I’ve gathered by way of clients, friends, and others, my best traits as a therapist are (in no particular order)…one, empathy. I’m blessed to have inherited my (registered nurse) mom’s ability to walk in another’s shoes. Two, intuition; I can just sense things in others—how they hurt, what they need, where they’re coming from. Three, my grasp of the techniques I use to help others heal. And four, I have been labeled, on several occasions, as “one of the world’s great listeners.” 🙂

How would you characterize yourself as a therapist?

As your 3C: counselor; coach; and confidant.